A message from Anonymous
sounds like you might not fare too well on the marijuana farms

I know, I’ve had that thought. Not sure she would care though. Or maybe she has a garment factory handy for people like me.

You may not be able to tell anymore!—which I set down to self control and effexor—but my anxiety turns into paranoia fairly quickly before switching over to depersonalisation and thinking the world is going to float apart and that everyone is a puppet piloted by the aliens from men in black and wondering if I’m dead and I just haven’t realised it yet.

So you understand why finding a really good psych person who won’t immediately label me the “bad” crazy is necessary.

A message from Anonymous
Sorry, that sounded way more douchey than I meant. But really, I turned to opiates at the height of my depression, and it only made everything worse. I don't necessarily think all drugs are bad though. I smoke daily to manage my anxiety, which triggers depression for me.

Oh, I can’t smoke, it makes my dissociation issues and paranoia much worse. Once, before I knew what it was called or that dissociation was a thing, I smoked alone and it got so bad I convinced myself I was schizophrenic and that i was only going to get crazier and should kill myself. I used to EAT pot sometimes but it was never that helpful then either. The best that ever went was the time I got a crush on David Caruso for one night. Which I still wouldn’t call optimum experience. But I know it works for some people! And the crush is entertaining and humiliating, retrospectively

A message from petite-courtesan
What scene is your gif from?

petite-courtesan:

clarawebbwillcutoffyourhead:

The head cutting off scene!! At the beginning!

Yes, but from what film/show?

OH!

It’s in my faq, but Byzantium, the best vampire hooker movie ever.

A message from Anonymous
going from being totally sober to snorting opiates is a pretty big jump there, friend. go smoke a j and chill the fuck out

I love anons! I love that you took the time to write this. Good job on the reading comprehension and empathy, friend.

A message from lydialushbbw
Nah, wanting to do it in your own apartment isn't weird. Most of the girls I knew in the business preferred to do incalls as well. The main reason I didn't do it was because I have roommates, but not being able to host cost me a lot of business. In my experience most guys either can't or don't want to host at home, and the ones I dealt with didn't want to pay for a hotel room on top of the sex, either.

And EYE don’t want to pay for a hotel room either lol. I’m stingy! I’ve remembered how quickly you can go back to being poor :/ eeeee.
That’s reassuring anyway. I love hearing I’m not crazy or the only one doing something. I would totally jump off a bridge.

A message from petite-courtesan
What scene is your gif from?

The head cutting off scene!! At the beginning!

I just need to have a dramatic moment on the internet:

IM SO SAD.

and I am so TIRED and BORED with being sad. Depression is exhausting and boring I’m tired of feeling this way I want it to stop. I absolutely get it now, I get why people get high. I would be snorting opiates if I could get my hands on any, absolutely. I mean maybe I wouldn’t, I don’t know, I’m pretty committed to being almost entirely sober. But I get it. And it’s not even as bad as it has been it’s just like… Enough already. Stop.

I got the number of a different psych nurse for meds bc icanhassugar and Roni and my therapist all think my meds prescriber is a little… Maybe a little shady or not quite right?

I keep putting off calling her buuuut idk maybe effexor isn’t for me or maybe I just need a mood stabiliser on top of it. I just always feel so wound up lately and nauseated and tense and bouncy and then crash into sadness like everything is basically the worst just now just the worst and it was so good like, a half hour ago?

Trying out new prescribers is the most stressful thing in the world though, seriously. I can never forget awful nurse kale or every bad therapist I’ve ever had or Jade who ruined my life from 4th-7th grade. I’m like are we sure we can’t stick with the woman who called the cops on me because she thought I killed myself? ARE WE SURE?

yeah everyone is sure.

A message from godsglassofwater
There should be a lending library for outfits.

socialworkgradstudents:

socialworkgradstudents:

clarawebbwillcutoffyourhead:

Like on parks and rec!

there totally is, it’s called Gwynnie Bee, but it’s for plus sized gals only (and I don’t hear super great things about it, but, you know, that’s pretty much the implied caveat whenever you’re like “so there’s this plus sized store”)

oh except i am butting into a conversation i hadn’t scrolled back far enough to read hiiiiiiiiiiiiii

You are welcome in pretty much anything I blog! But is gwennie bee’s national or just where you are and btw do you think you’ll ever come here even though this place sucks?

BUT ps catandkitty saved me a seat at the reading against all odds and it was so good!! I can’t wait to read it.